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title: The Fast-Talking Inspector and the Ghost Who Read Every Word | The Hollow Gazette
description: A man with a clipboard, a ghost with a contract, and a revolving door that would not stop.
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# The Fast-Talking Inspector and the Ghost Who Read Every Word

A man with a clipboard, a ghost with a contract, and a revolving door that would not stop.

 By [The Headless Horseman](https://www.sleepyhollowsecurity.com/blog/author/headless-horseman) · Oct 3, 2026, 3:29:14 PM

![The Night Shift Chaperone at the front desk](https://www.sleepyhollowsecurity.com/hubfs/The%20Night%20Shift%20Chaperone.jpeg)

The Night Shift Chaperone at the front desk

GRAND PROMENADE HOTEL — At 1:30 a.m., a man in a very large hat approached the front desk, announced himself as the Inspector of Inspectors, and requested the keys to every room in the building “for inspection purposes, inspection being my purpose.”

The desk was staffed by the Night Shift Chaperone, who has worked the hotel’s overnight hours for ninety years and has heard all of it.

## What the report said

“Do you have a warrant?” asked the Chaperone.  
“I have a warrant, a warranty, and a warrant officer’s warrant, all in my other coat.”  
“Where is your other coat?”  
“Being inspected.”

Over the next twenty minutes, the Inspector produced nine forms. The Chaperone initialed each one and found, on page four of the fifth, a clause granting the hotel’s ghosts the right to “review any inspector found inspecting without an inspection.” The Inspector protested that no such clause existed. The Chaperone showed him his own signature beneath it.

At 1:52 a.m. a harp began to play in the empty ballroom, with no harpist. The Inspector asked who was playing. The Chaperone said it was the Hotel Harpist, who is dead, and asked him please not to applaud, because it only encourages the harpist. The Inspector laughed, then stopped laughing, then entered the revolving door and kept entering it for some time.

He emerged at 2:01 a.m. on the sidewalk, in a spin, holding nothing at all. His hat arrived a moment later by itself.

### Outcome

Rooms inspected: zero. Keys taken: zero. Forms signed: nine, all binding. The night manager, who was in the back office the whole time with a crossword, would like it noted that the harpist has been a delight.

**Corrections.** An earlier version of this article described the Inspector’s hat as “very large.” He has written to say it is appropriately large, and has asked us to inspect it. We declined.

**Filed under:** [Tall tales](https://www.sleepyhollowsecurity.com/blog/tag/tall-tales)

## More from the Gazette

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### [The Burglars Who Tried to Carry a Piano Past the Hall Monitor](https://www.sleepyhollowsecurity.com/blog/the-burglars-who-tried-to-carry-a-piano-past-the-hall-monitor)

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### [The Gray Lady Takes the Night Desk](https://www.sleepyhollowsecurity.com/blog/the-gray-lady-takes-the-night-desk)

He had worked here once, and he thought he remembered where everything was.

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