Pizza Night with the Night Shift Chaperone and the Cleaning Crew

Garrett Pruitt leads the overnight cleaning crew at a six-building office park. The Night Shift Chaperone has haunted alongside them for three years. Once a quarter, the crew orders a pizza. The Chaperone attends.

Whose idea was the pizza?
Garrett: Mine. I figured if someone is going to keep an eye on the doors we prop open, they should at least get pizza.
Chaperone: I cannot eat it. I attend.

What does the Chaperone do at the table?
Garrett: Sits at the end and tells us whether the delivery driver parked badly. Never wrong.

And on the job?
Chaperone: I watch the doors they prop open. I close them gently. I never take the credit.
Garrett: That’s the part I like most.

Has anything ever gone wrong?
Garrett: Last month a man walked in through a door we had propped. The Chaperone closed it behind him, very slowly, and asked if he was lost. He said no. He left through the same door, much faster, and he didn’t take a thing.

Any message for the crew?
Chaperone: Thank you for letting me be the second-best part of the night.
Garrett: Who’s the first?
Chaperone: The pizza.