Case file

The Stapler Rose Two Inches and Nobody Stole a Thing

One draft at neck height, one very still medication refrigerator, and a perfectly ordinary Tuesday night.

By The Headless Horseman · Oct 3, 2026, 2:34:32 AM

Cold Spot Dave holds his post beside the vaccine fridge, 2:47 a.m. The temperature log was unaffected.

SLEEPY HOLLOW — The pharmacy on Main Street closed at nine on Tuesday and opened at eight on Wednesday to find precisely nothing amiss, according to a written report filed at six o’clock by its overnight protectors.

“It was a good night,” said the Proprietor, a headless man on a black horse. “Those are the best kind.” A cold spot was held beside the medication refrigerator all night, exactly as cold as the refrigerator and not a degree colder.

What the report said

At 2:47 a.m., a single draft arrived at neck height by the rear door. Nobody came in. The pharmacist described this as the most reassuring sentence he has read all year.

The temperature log was unaffected, and no prescriptions went missing. One stapler on the back counter was found two inches higher than where it was left. Management has asked that this be filed as “within normal operations.”

A good night is a quiet night, and a quiet night is one with nothing to report. We report it anyway.

No bridges were crossed

The Proprietor asked that this be noted.

Corrections. An earlier version of this article reported that the stapler was found two inches higher. It was one and seven-eighths inches. The stapler has asked that its modesty be on the record.

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